James Bond's Skyfall

I feel the same way about James Bond movies as I do Superhero movies: I like my misogyny straight-up. That way you don't get sucked into watching something arty like Sideways and then discover half-way through that its just another giant wankfest for men. James Bond is usually predictable in its misogyny: every woman who fucks Bond dies a horrible, vile death as punishment for being a slut. After all, the only reason any woman would want to have sex with a man they aren't married to is because they are a slut. Consequently, they deserve to die. But, Casino Royale changed this. It was different. Bond was different and his relationship to women was different.  He wasn't just a violent, misogynistic sociopath. He was an arsehole and recognised as such. Even with the whole "falling in love with a woman made him a better man" trite sub-plot, Craig's first outing as Bond changed the franchise.  Eva Green's Vesper Lynd was a different woman to previous "Bond girls".  She was smart, resourceful, loyal and brave. 

Olga Kurylenko's Camille Montes in Quantum of Solace took it one step further. The film ends with Montes being left to lead the Bolivian resistance movement in taking back their land and their water rights. She is every bit Bond's equal. Unfortunately, in order to have Montes as an equal, the film reasserted the "women who fuck Bond deserve to die" motif which is unbearably tedious. It's like the producers were frightened by a Bond who wasn't just a sociopath and so had to drag the series back to its original construction of Bond the Misogynist. 

Skyfall is just a pile of pooh. It's basically old school Bond resurrected and it wasn't anywhere near as good as either Casino Royale or Quantum of Solace. The plot had holes big enough to drive a subway train through, which it did. Literally. There were 3 women: the whore who dies, the 'wife' who becomes the secretary and the mother who is M. Each gets the punishment they deserve for trying to transgress her assigned gender role. Heck, they even throw a female MP who is clearly supposed to be the 'bitch'. Quantum of Solace ended with a strong woman walking away from Bond to lead her people to freedom. In Skyfall, the women fucked up, got punished and then disappeared into ignominy.

Now, I like James Bond movies. I like movies with explosions and general silliness but Skyfall couldn't decide if it wanted to like Casino Royale or cheesy like Tomorrow Never Dies. The  funny places were few and far between and mostly figured around Q; by far the best character in the film. But, it was the erasure of the strong women from the previous two films which disappointed me the most. It's a good movie for car chases and explosions but they lost their nerve. Skyfall is just like a 100 other movies in the spy franchise which is unfortunate because it had the chance to do something really different. And, even almost feministy .

UPDATE: I have been getting crosser and crosser about Skyfall. I have been in such a rage that I haven’t quite worked out what pissed me off the most. Last night, a friend posted on FB and pointed out that the woman who is punished with death for fucking Bond isn’t just a ‘woman’. Severin’s back story involves being sold to a brothel at the age of 12. She is raped and tortured repeatedly. Her escape route is the official ‘bad guy’ of the film who is still raping her. As she says, he frightens her more than anyone she’s ever come across before. It is a deeply abusive relationship. Bond’s response to this story of child rape is to push Severin into helping him. He does so by climbing aboard her boat and getting into the shower with her. Without asking permission. Bond has sex with a terrified and abused survivor of child rape. She dies because of this. This is why Skyfall is more than a return to old school Bond misogyny. It glamourises and eroticising child sexual abuse by keeping the adult woman as nothing more than Bond’s sex toy.

Here is a great blog by Giles Coren on Skyfall: [[http://reciperifle.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/bond-villain.html]]

And a brilliant response by Exiled Stardust: [[http://exiledstardust.wordpress.com/2012/11/02/women-the-makers-of-skyfall-hate-you/]]

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Brave: Not Quite the Feminist Film I Imagined

I'm not going to lie. I was disappointed by Brave. I liked Merida as proto-feminist heroine but the rest of the characters were really just tedious gendered stereotypes. The men, including the king, were all irresponsible and prone to violence. Merida's younger brothers were incredibly badly behaved but rewarded for it. I find the "men are all stupid and violent and irresponsible" cliche tedious and dull. The maid was silly and prone to hysterics. The kingdom itself is held together by the Queen who suppresses her whole personality and needs into ensuring that the others don't kill one another in an orgy of violence. Yep, that tired old "women have to be extra special good to compensate for the men being arseholes" trope so beloved in victim-blaming. 

I really, really wanted to like Brave. As a heroine, she is one of the best Disney Princesses; possibly second only to Mulan but the rest of the film lets Merida down. And, that's without getting into the way Merida saves her mother by learning to darn. I mean, seriously, what's with that? Yeah, darning is an important skill to have and no doubt has saved many a soldier but when you're trying to stop gendering fictional characters for children, a girl saving someone through darning isn't a step in the right direction. Merida is a warrior queen. Warrior Queens do not save people by fixing tapestries. And, the end isn't really a brilliant one for Merida. After all, she winds up weaving with her mother which isn't what she wanted. It was an unnecessary compromise that should never have been required because Merida's demands weren't unreasonable. Everyone else needed to learn to compromise [and the father to actually act like one instead of being a drunken bore] but Merida herself should not have had to change.

Plus, the love story is still there. The last scene is of the "ugly" laird kissing her hand. The implication is that Merida ends up with him which isn't really losing the princess marries the prince storyline so much as holding out for a sequel a la Tangled.

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Bridezillas and Vaginas: Hello Misogyny. We Have Missed You.

No, seriously. There hasn't been enough misogyny in my life this week so I'm incredibly grateful to the Huffington Post for running no less than two misogynistic, women-blaming pieces of vileness yesterday. Without them, I might have become confused and forgotten we live in a Patriarchy. I'm so glad Ashley Hames was available to tell me that women spend too much time talking about their vaginas. Because men never ever talk about their penises. Nope, it's only women boring men senseless by talking about a subject that men aren't really interested in [unless they are sticking their cocks in one and even then we aren't supposed to talk about it]. 

Hames is apparently bored rigid by feminists banging on about their vaginas. Weirdly, I'm not bored by men talking about their penises. I'm angry about men talking about their penises. I'm angry at the proliferation of pornography which prioritises the penis above all else. I'm angry about the rape and torture of women and children by men who think their right to orgasm is more important than women's bodily integrity and health. I'm bored by men who think that any topic of conversation which does not revolve around them or their desires isn't worth having. On the other hand, I do agree with this statement by Hames: "(b)ut this constant reinforcement of The Vagina smacks of insecurity"; except, I'd replace vagina with penis. Because that's what Hames is really talking about: his own insecurity about his penis and it's status in society. Why else would he claim to be "bored" by women having conversations without him? It's not like he's been kidnapped by a bunch of Feminists and locked in a cupboard whilst they recite the Vagina Monologues at him. Unlike women, who have to live everyday with snide remarks and pornographic images delineating the 'woman as fucktoy' trope.

And, an even bigger thank you goes to Kate Thompson for reiterating the woman are all hormonal, insane crackpots in desperate search for a penis to cure of us any attempts at independent thought in her ode to Bridezillas; which should have been called Bridezilla: Women-Shaming Wrapped Up in a Shiny Tiara. There really is no excuse for such women-blaming misogynistic nincompoopery. God forbid, we actually hold men accountable for the consequences of their behaviour; instead it's always the fault of women who are just trying to survive in a Patriarchal society which devalues everything we do. It's always the fault of women for wanting too much or, you know, actually wanting to get their basic needs met. It's women's faults that they are insecure or jealous or irrational because, hey, that's what happens when you have a vagina. Men are never irrational. Possession of a penis prohibits irrationality.

What really fucks me off about the Huffington Post publishing such misogynistic shite is that they also published a searing critique of the abuse and violence directed at Kristen Stewart over an alleged affair she had with a married director. Rupert Sanders, of course, is completely unresponsible for the affair. It's all Stewart's fault. Nico Lang's article is the antithesis of the misogyny perpetuated by Thompson and Hames and I'm so very glad it was published because the situation is appalling. But, it's actually quite sad that Lang's defence of Stewart sits along side such unmitigated twaddle. Does the Huffington Post have an editorial policy which requires two pieces of vacuous nincompoopery to combat any pro-women articles?

Oh, and if we're going to play the "teams" debacle, I'm on Team Stewart because NO woman deserves the treatment she has received. 

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The Lorax: Would Have Been Funnier Without the Fat Jokes or the Misogyny

Took Small to see The Lorax this morning. It was actually pretty funny in places and less patronising than Ferngully with the whole destruction of the forest killing the planet story line. Thing is, The Lorax still felt obligated to go with two utterly stupid and dire tropes: the fat, stupid sidekick and the "it's only okay to hit girls that aren't pretty". I know I complained about the trailer to The Lorax previously but it just annoyed me even more in the film. This is what I said about the trailer:

It was the same tired old joke about not threatening violence against women unless they don't 'look' like women: that is too say fat. Because, it's just totally okay for children's films to reinforce the same tired old stereotypes about women only having value if they are skinny and pretty. Or, that women can only 'look' like women if they are skinny. Or something. 

It would be nice if just one film directed at children didn't include threats of violence and gender stereotyping. Is that really so much to ask? Is Hollywood so lacking in imagination that they can't imagine a world where people don't run about threatening to punch anyone who disagrees with them or denigrating those who don't fit Patriarchal Constructions of Fuckability?

The normalising of male violence is harmful for everyone. It teaches boys that they are nothing but violent thugs incapable of self-control and tells girls they are responsible for the violence because they aren't pretty enough or nag too much. And, this is without going into the whole basis of the plot which is that boys only do dangerous and stupid things to get the attention of girls. Because, boys are never, ever responsible for their own bad decisions. Always has to be the fault of a woman, [and its worth pointing out that the young boy is being raised by a single mother whilst the man who caused the tree crisis was being raised by an emotionally abusive mother reinforcing the "woman are responsible for male behaviour trope on several levels].

The fat, slow, and dim sidekick in The Lorax was a bear; one who just couldn't keep up either intellectually or physically. It didn't anything to the story. It wasn't funny. It was just the same old pick on the fat kid shit which is everywhere. It was the same demeaning behaviour as evidenced in most Hollywood comedies which are anything but. Being overweight doesn't make one stupid and it's unbelievably tedious to see this trope used over and over again. The Lorax could have been a brilliant film; instead in went for crass jokes and offensive stereotypes. Plus ca change and all that.

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Top Ten Feminist Friendly Movies All Kids Should See

The Huffington Post's Puff-Piece du Jour is the Top Ten Movies Kids Should See Before They're 10. Some of them are pretty good movies but most are the usual misogynistic twaddle; 4 of which are by Disney. Now, Disney makes some great films but most of them are documentaries about animals made over 30 years ago and are not available on DVD.

10. Up: I haven't seen this so can't really comment but, let's face it, the two main characters have penises. Like every other fucking movie ever made. It needs to be dumped. I'd replace this with Racing Stripes. Now, I need to go on record here and say I fucking hate this film. Every time I see it, I want to cry. However, it's a great film for young girls because it really is about a girl defying all forms of patriarchal conformity and doing exactly what she knows she can do despite being told she can't do it.

9. Matilda: I'd keep Matilda. Okay, it has some problematic portrayals of mother and headteacher but it's a little girl who defends herself and her friends by being intelligent, resourceful and kind. These are characteristics that we need to be teaching ALL children.

8. The Never Ending Story: I love this movie so it's staying in. Should have starred a girl but still a brilliant film.

7. Wizard of Oz: I have never understood the fascination with this film. It stars an adult woman trussed up like a child complete with bound breasts. There are some seriously creepy subtexts about sexuality and misogyny in the film. I can't think of a musical that I would replace it with since the whole genre is riddled with misogyny. I'd replace it with Hoodwinked since it has two great female characters; one of whom is a snow-boarding, cookie baking grandmother.

6. Mary Poppins: I love this film and I don't care how bad Dick Van Dyke's accent really was. It's a film about suffragettes, male stupidity and questions patriarchal conformity. What's not to like?

5. The Jungle Book: The soundtrack to this film is utterly brilliant but the film itself should only be watched whilst questioning gender conformity and racism. 

4. Labyrinth: A film starring a teenage girl where she doesn't get naked, give blow jobs or is clinically stupid. That alone makes it a worthy feminist film. The fact that she's also brave, intelligent, and kind is just an added bonus. It stars Jennifer Connelly who is a brilliant and criminally under-used actress. I've never entirely understood the fascination with Bowie but he's a great creep.

3. Home Alone: This must have been nominated by people who hate their children because I can't imagine why anyone would force their offspring to watch this. Kiki's Delivery Service is an utterly brilliant film about a young girl coming of age, making friends, and learning to take responsibility for herself and not a whiny self-involved child surrounded by whiny self-involved adults who don't listen to one another.

2. Lion King: The Lion King was a piece of misogynistic twaddle about a couple of whiny, self-involved men ruining everything for everyone else. That's without the not-so-subtle subtext of racism. I'd dump it in favour of the Wild Thornberries which is another great film about a young girl coming of age and learning to take responsibility for others. It's about relationships between sisters and parents and caring for one another without losing yourself.

1. Toy Story: Oh look, another movie by Pixar/ Disney where Only Those Who are Three Dimensional Characters Get To Have Adventures. Otherwise known as: Only Toys with Penises Count. None of the Pixar Films are feminist-friendly and I don't want to hear about the freaking Incredibles. Mrs. Incredible covers up for her useless husband's abusive, self-destructive behaviour whilst wandering about wondering if her ass is fat. Teenage Incredible's special power is invisibility: which makes her exactly the same as every other teenage girl with low self-esteem. Hardly, what I aspire for my daughters.

Mulan is way better: a young woman defies gender constructions, the Patriarchy and kicks arse saving her "man", the Emperor and the rest of China. She's also brave, resourceful, intelligent and doesn't take shit from anyone.

And, every child should be given a copy of Miss Representation.

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