International Women's Day Annual Playlist

(Image from Here)

Last year, I started #buyingmusiconlybywomen*, I've discovered some brilliant new women artists like Leela Gilday, The Raincoats, Isobel Campbell, Alix Dobkin, Imelda May and Heather Nova. I tweeted it yesterday and got some new (and some old!) suggestions for my Annual International Women's Day Playlist.   

As ever, I haven't actually compiled my annual playlist yet but I'm always looking for more suggestions like the lovely ones below tweeted at me by @planetpavs and @BackgroundSpin

Melissa Etheridge
Tracy Chapman
Indigo Girls!
Judy Collins
Jennifer Warnes
K.D. lang
Alix Dobkin
Carly Simon
Barbra Streisand
Ani Difranco
Alison Moyet
Aretha Franklin
Kirsty MaColl
Tracy Chapman
Joni Mitchell
Jen Foster
Emily Barker
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Nancy Griffith
Lucinda Williams
Kitty Barber

* Okay, I admit it. I did buy the new Red Hot Chili Peppers Singles but, other than them, only music by women. I swear. 

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If Heterosexuality is Compulsory, I want to Marry Batman

[image from here]

1. He's rich. 
2. He's never home. 
3. He has a butler to take care of his every need: so no Wifework!
4. He's either whining, brooding or hanging about in a cave with bats. And, therefore, not clogging up the living room. Or, whining, brooding or hanging about anywhere near you. 
5. You won't actually have to spend any time with him at all.*

Or, we could just lose the compulsory heterosexuality bit, because, frankly, marrying Batman is about as intelligent as advising young girls to "toughen up" about street and sexual harassment. Rachel Roberts' recent piece in the Independent demonstrates everything which is wrong with a rape culture rooted in compulsory heterosexuality. What is really depressing about the piece is that Roberts' clearly believes that Lib Dem spin doctor Jo Phillips was right about schools teaching girls to "toughen up" whilst simultaneously trying to situate her piece within feminist discourse around the prevention of violence against women through education. Any time a writer need to use the phrase "I would never wish to blame the victim", you know it is too late. Roberts' piece, from her homely quotes about her 13 year old niece to her failure to mention the the behaviour of boys and men is about blaming young girls for not being "tough" enough. 

Roberts seems to have misunderstood EVAW's Schools Safe 4 Girls campaign which isn't about teaching girls to be "tough" but rather ending sexual harassment within schools completely. This requires as much a focus on boys' education and a fundamental restructuring of sex education as it does teaching 13 year old girls how to be assertive: 

Aged 12-13, girls ought to have at least a few hours of tuition on how to be assertive when faced with difficult situations, such as street harassment. I do not mean to suggest the onus should be on girls to be able to defend themselves by means of a witty retort or a sharp kick in the knackers – although both of these methods have served me well on the long walk to womanhood. The goal should of course be to make sexual pestering and all forms of abuse unacceptable to both genders, but until such a utopia dawns, it makes sense to teach girls practical strategies, such as naming the behaviour (e.g. "That's very insulting", "You're invading my space") and removing yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. It might sound like simple and obvious stuff, but a surprising amount of adults, never mind young people, don't have the confidence to use this kind of language, or simply don't know what to do in a threatening situation.

How, precisely, will this help a 13 year old walking home from school who is harassed by a group of men? How will it help a vulnerable 14 year old cornered in the school cafeteria by a group of boys demanding to see her breasts? Why is the onus always on teaching girls "practical strategies" for dealing with male violence instead of teaching boys how to behave. Why aren't we seeing more support for campaigns like EVAW's in schools? Why aren't we seeing more support for programs dealing with sexually predatory behaviour of young boys? Why are we educating a generation of girls to believe that male violence is their problem because they weren't "tough enough"? Why aren't we raising a generation of boys to believe that violence against women and sexual harassment is wrong?

It is not a lack of confidence which prevents women from standing up to sexual harassment: it's fear. It's fear of the situation escalating and the possible consequences of it becoming physically violent. Within schools, one 13 year old girl standing up to a boy demanding a blowjob in the hallway won't prevent him from doing it to another girl. Nor will it prevent that 13 year old from becoming a victim of further bullying by being labeled frigid or humourless. We need to be tackling the behaviour of boys, rather than insisting that girls be held accountable for not being "tough" enough.

This isn't to say that Roberts' piece is entirely without merit. After all, I am firm supporter of sex education moving out of pregnancy prevention and into relationships and the signs of domestic violence. Roberts' piece just reflects current patriarchal discourse which makes women responsible for male behaviour. Her article focuses exclusively on the education of girls and her throw away line about "utopia" shows just how little Roberts' believes that male behaviour will change.

Teaching girls to "toughen up" is as sensible as telling girls to marry Batman as a career plan. It does nothing to change the fundamental problem our culture has with male violence. It also presupposes a heteronormativity that does not reflect the realities of the relationships of many adults. Instead of teaching girls to "toughen up", how about we teach boys that sexual harassment is a crime and will be prosecuted as such?

* This is liberally borrowed from a post on MN from years ago which I think was lost in the annals of chat. 

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Why We Oppose Votes For Men

This keeps getting retweeted through my feed. It makes me giggle every time.

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Hilary Devey's Women on Top

I watched exactly ten minutes of Hilary Devey's Women on Top. The premise is interesting: a successful British business woman who didn't understand the gendered barriers to women's equality within capitalism traveled to Norway to investigate their practise of quotas of women's participation in employment. 

I stopped watching after they said women in Norway "embrace their feminine side" with 1 years maternity pay. Because women in business must have babies otherwise they aren't actually women. Or, something equally stupid. 

Perhaps, the BBC might want to actually think about gender stereotypes before embarking on these types of programs and don't reinforce the same misogynistic bullshit that they claim to be "investigating".

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Helping Girls in Kenya Go To School

This is reblogged with permission from SaltandCaramel: 

Kenyan girls don’t go to school because they don’t have access to sanitary protection.

When I first read that, I thought there must be some mistake. Something that we take for granted, a basic necessity, hinders girls getting an education. I had asked a Kenyan based blogger for ideas on gifts to take to the families we would be visiting, and besides small toys, pencils and note paper, this was one of her suggestions. I wrote about this on the Gates Foundation blog Impatient Optimists last year.

While there are great projects running in East Africa, and elsewhere to provide menstrual cups or washable san pro, I wanted to send a small gift to the girls I met last year. Later this month, I will send a box of san pro and underwear to the girls in the Laikipia district.

If you would like to contribute, you can send me san pro to send on, or donate money so that I can buy san pro. Please use the JumpMag paypal account (scroll down to the bottom of the page). Thank you

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

In the US, the month of October is recognised as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It came into being in 1988 and was designed both as a remembrance of those babies lost but also as a way of increasing knowledge and awareness around the issues of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancies, still births, SIDS and other causes of infant loss.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It was founded by Robyn Bear to give all parents one day to grieve for their babies. Bear asks everyone, in every time zone, to light a candle at 7 pm for one hour to give a wave of light in memory of the babies lost too soon.

I will be lighting candles for my friends. For Lissie. For Jaime. For Sarah. For Rena. For Mira. For Catherine. For Cheryl. For all mothers whose babies were taken too soon. I love you. 

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World Breastfeeding Week

In celebration of World Breastfeeding Week, here are some of my favourite images:

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How to Tell If You Should Be Allowed To Run About the Planet With Weaponry

If you think two women breastfeeding their babies whilst in military uniform is "disrespectful", then you are, frankly, too stupid and ignorant to be let loose on the planet with weaponary. In fact, if you think there is a problem with this picture, then you probably shouldn't be having sex with anyone. Just in case. Or allowed access to any form of social media. Or vote. Or run for public office. Or be in the military. And, yeah, if you can't take your commanding officer seriously after seeing her breastfeed a baby, then you have no business being in the military because you clearly aren't competent to be a soldier. I'm fairly sure you aren't competent to be a human being.

Here's a brilliant blogpost on the issue complete with a number of supremely stupid comments by people with their heads permanently rammed up their backsides. There is nothing like watching an MRA smack-down to get the blood pressure going in the morning.

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