I love my Mooncup

My lovely friend FrothyDragon* has been ranting about the misogynistic twaddle which are the Always "Have a Happy Period" ads here. I hate them. I hate them a lot. I have ranted about my hatred of them here. I have been desperately pretending they don't exist but the freaking campaign never stops. It's like Boots. They've found some misogynistic drivel that they think works and keep using it. But, it ain't working here anymore. The only thing these stupid ads have done is convince me to buy a mooncup and I love my mooncup. It isn't perfect and there is an unfortunate squelching noise; a really unfortunate squelching noise. But, buying a mooncup means never having to financially support the nincompoops at Always and the dingbats at the advertising company they hired which can only be a good thing.

I also have some washable pads that I bought from here. I have some pink camouflage ones which make me smile. It's the only time pink camouflage is ever a good look. On anyone. I'm not quite at the stage where I think rinsing menstrual blood out of pads is a powerful testament to sisterhood but I love that it makes my friend feel strong. And, it is a powerful way of telling the Patriarchy to Fuck Off.

*If you haven't clicked the link to Frothy's blog, do so now.

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Dearest Vagina, Once Again I have Failed You.

Dearest Vagina,

Once again I have failed you. I have previous form for neglecting you. I neither shave you nor vajazzle you. I refused to purchase the completely bizarre "smoothethegroove" in order to make you look more fuckable to men who are stupid. Unfortunately, and I think this goes without saying, I will also not be buying the 18 Again cream which is supposed to make you "tighter" and resemble the vagina of a virgin. It doesn't matter if the cream is made of the natural ingredients of "gold dust, aloe vera, almond and pomegranate". You will not experience the pleasure of the cream anywhere near you. 

Weirdly, I like you just the way you are: having birthed two children. I don't want to "feel like a virgin" either. I like being me: a woman whose body has changed and developed through age and experience. I know this means I will continue to fail the Patriarchal Fuckability Test. But, really, when have I actually passed the PFT? And, who really wants to have sex with a man who is only aroused by the anorexic body of an only-just-not-quite-a-teenager? An adult male who dates 18 year olds has some serious psycho-sexual issues they need to deal with. Who really wants to have sex with someone like that? Who wants to be with a man who only wants to marry a virgin?

So, you will remain unshaven and unvajazzled and without your own special wardrobe or creams. You will just have to remain you. After all, isn't that the point of every Disney Princess movie ever? Or, something like that. I'm sure.

SGM

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Apparently, Angela Merkel has a vagina.

I know this because @IndiaKnight, and others, are gleefully insulting her "camel toe" on Twitter. Now, this could be some of my weird-arse feminist principles coming into play, but Angela Merkel's vagina or vulva or whatever genitalia is currently being belittled is possibly the least interesting thing about her. [Unless she has a corn on her toe. I don't actually care about that either.] The important thing here is that she's the Chancellor of Germany; like the only financially stable country in Europe right now.

The woman has actual fiscal power to help end the recession [not to mention that pesky issue of the more women in power, the more likely issues specific to women are to get government attention]. Merkel is a hell of a lot smarter than The Double Nincompoop Act of Sarkozy and Berlusconi and I thank the Goddess everyday that those two are gone. But, I don't remember Twitter insulting the various genitalia of those two and, frankly, their sexually predatory behaviour is well-documented.

But, Merkel has a vagina. And, it doesn't matter what she does or how she does it. All that matters is that, today, Merkel has a "camel toe" and, therefore, is an object of ridicule. My crazy-arse Feminist principles don't care how Merkel looks. I care what she says and the consequences of her actions. They have the real ability to cause serious harm or fix a serious situation. Her vagina does not. So let's stop playing the Patriarchal Fuckability Game and start worrying about what Merkel is doing [along with every other European politician] right now.

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