I am going to #RadFem2013.

When I first wrote that I was going to RadFem2013 two months ago I did so with trepidation and fear because I knew what the reaction would be from that core group of white, middle class ciswomen who claim to be feminists.

And, I was right.

Their deliberate attempts to besmirch my reputation and harass me are not making me reconsider attending RadFem2013. Frankly, the abusive behaviour, harassment and general nincompoopery I have  experienced in the past few weeks has made my desire to attend RadFem2013 even stronger. I may not be a real radical feminist [however you want to define that] but I do know it is not feminist to use abusive, aggressive, male language to maliciously attack other women who have made the cardinal sin of not being a member of your Borg [however you want to define that].

As I have said countless other times, feminism is a journey. We are all at different stages. We are all on different paths. We are all learning. We all want nothing less than women's liberation. How about we spend more time listening to each other and less time threatening violence? And, I can't even believe this needs to be said, spend less time with MRAs. 

If you need to side with MRAs to win the argument, you've already lost your soul. 

I made a mistake several weeks ago and lashed out in anger when I learned that several women were telling lies about me on twitter via subtweets. I subtweeted into my timeline something along the lines of "that psychotic bitch they are all whining about is me". The original tweet is still in my timeline because I thought it unacceptable to delete the tweet when I had clearly crossed a line. I also apologised for making that statement. No one called me a psychotic bitch. They were telling a number of lies about me but that isn't an excuse for what I tweeted. I was wrong and I apologised. 

I would have hoped that this would be the end of the situation and that we could all move on and act like adults. Yet, I'm still being targeted by a very clear smear campaign because I have publicly labelled myself an anti-capitalist, pro-radical feminist. 

How do we expect to liberate women from male violence when supposed feminists are using the very language and tactics of men to harass and stalk other women? 

Since when did it become acceptable to trigger other women in order to score points in an argument?

This is not my feminism. My feminism is about liberating all women and children from the capitalist-patriarchy. It is not about insulting, denigrating or lying about women. Sure, I've made mistakes. We all make mistakes. 

My feminism is woman-centered. 

My feminism is about hearing women's voices. I am very privileged to be able to hear the voices of thousands of women via twitter and facebook. I learn everyday from women who make me a better feminist. I've also learned that it doesn't matter what I do or say, there will always be those who insist on causing fights because they enjoy them. I'm not playing their games anymore.

How about women start acting like women and not over-priveleged toddlers with poor impulse control?

I am going to #RadFem2013 and, childcare permitting, I plan on attending the UK Feminista Summer School, as I have done in the past, and, hopefully, I'll be at the feminist conferences in Newcastle and London in the fall. 

I am a feminist. I believe in women. I will fight for women. I will not allow the behaviours of a few on twitter to stop me. 

After all, if they aren't interested in what I have to say, they don't actually have to read my blog or follow me on twitter. 

[And, fyi, there are a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes in my blog. They reflect my disability but if you must use my disability to insult me, feel free. After all, the only ones it reflects poorly on are those who do so.]