Father's Day: The Patriarchal Whiny Prize.

My feelings on the capitalist-patriarchal conspiracy which is Mother's Day are quite clear. It was a fob-off for women who do most of the work most of the time. So they get one insipid little day a year to go home to visit their Mummies (and all the work that goes into it). It is patriarchal obfuscation at its finest: one day a year. Despite doing all the shit work. And, that's without getting into the issue of whose responsible for mothers-in-law. Here's a hint: not usually the person with a penis they gave birth too.

Father's Day, on the other hand, is just the kind of stupid prize men give themselves in self-congratulatory hypocrisy because, God forbid, women get something men don't. (See also International Men's Day in response to International Women's Day). Giving yourself a prize for doing nothing is totally a male response. And utterly pathetic.

Here's a couple of tips for men on Father's Day:

Stand up and be a father.

Do 50% of the parenting.

Do 50% of the scut work.

Do 50% of the shit work.

Get up in the middle of the night with your sick kids.

Take the day off work when your kids are sick.

You don't 'baby-sit' your kids. You are a parent.

You don't get rewards for acting like an adult. You shouldn't get one for being a parent.

Pay maintenance. Not paying maintenance is child abuse.

You show up for contact. There is nothing more important than your children. You skip contact to watch football, then you are a shit father.

Domestic violence makes you a shit father. Abusing your partner in front of your children is child abuse.

If you can't name your child's teacher, best friend or medication, you are a shit father.

If you can't name your child's favourite toy, you are a shit father.

If you need to be told what time your child's school starts or the names of their after-school activities, you are a shit father.

Parenting is a 24/7 job with no breaks or overtime. If you don't understand that, then don't have PIV. Children deserve real fathers; not neglectful arse wipes who care more about their cocks than they do their children.