Today, I Came Out as a "Privileged" Feminst. And, Not For the Reason You'd Think

I was having an online chat with some lovely friends yesterday about Misogynist Rights Activists [MRAs] and their silencing techniques. I came out with this gem:

I don't get anywhere near the shit that or some of the other feminist bloggers get. I'm actually really privileged in that I have a good number of people reading and commenting on my blog in a positive manner and only had 4 nasty comments on the blog itself.

I wrote this and then promptly realised just how stupid it sounds. I'm privileged because the MRAs aren't targeting my blog for abuse. I'm privileged because I've only been stalked online by a few, not very bright, MRAs. I'm privileged because I've only received two real threats of physical violence to my body. That doesn't count all the insults, condescension and arrogant hypocrisy I've personally experienced on Mumsnet from MRA trolls, certain male posters and their handmaidens. I've become so, I'm not sure here, immune to the threats? So, I think only two threats, one to shoot me in the face and a threat of gang-rape, makes me "privileged" as a feminist.

Just how seriously fucked up is that?

I am a feminist with privilege. I am visibly white in a deeply racist culture. I am heterosexual in a homophobic society. Despite being disabled, it's not "visible" so I don't endure street harassment from disablists. I have a very good university education, a niceish home, lovely children and some brilliant friends. If we're playing Intersectionality bingo, I'd lose. Every time. But, yesterday, I decided I was "privileged" only to be threatened with male violence twice. Online. I never even thought about the street harassment I've received. Being pregnant as a teenager is like having a giant neon sign above your head for disgusting men to perve after you. Or, the small scale sexual assaults I've experienced. Nope, I decided I was privileged because only two men threatened me with physical violence online.

Two Men. One who threatened to shoot me. The other threatened me with gang-rape. And, I'm "privileged".

I genuinely don't know quite where to go with this blogpost. I wrote the first part last night just after I made the comment. I've been pondering my statement on and off all night. Why would I use the privilege? I'm not sure. But, it does make me incredibly sad that I have become so immune to male violence that I measure "privilege" according to how few threats I receive rather than "privileged" by never having experienced male violence. Because, the truth is, I don't know a single woman who hasn't experienced male violence of some sort.