They now make chocolate for ladeez. Because, apparently, we are all too fat and no longer make the cut for the Patriarchal Fuckability Test. I would have liked to know this before I bought myself a Crunchie this morning. I like Crunchies. I did not know that I had to have a penis to eat one. I have checked on the wrapping and it doesn't say I need a penis. But, now, there is a chocolate bar just for me. Because I have a vagina. It's called Crispello [and whoever thought that up really needs a career change].
Although, come to think of it, I'm sure Weight Watchers* already market chocolate bars for fat women. It's part of their eat nothing but eggs and carrots but then treat yourself to a tiny piece of chocolate that is smaller than Halloween treats. The Weight Watchers chocolate bars are probably twice the price of a Crispello but at least they don't have a stupid name.
I would totally suggest everyone with a vagina run right now and buy themselves one but it's tea time. Probably some pasta would be better. **
* I can't be too mean to Weight Watchers. They were very helpful when I had PND. But, mostly, they prey on women's insecurities and create diets that only 10% of women manage to sustain long-term. Possibly, I could have gotten the same help from a PND support group and saved myself a shitload of money but I was in denial. It happens.
** I await with glee for the advertising campaign for Crispello. I suspect I will get hours of fun lambasting it for the Misogynistic Advertising Walk of Shame
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