SakuraAmelie asked me to post the following piece, written by her, about her experience with Eve Thomas of #OneVoice. The post is very long and I apologise for the difficulties with formatting but it is worth reading the whole post.
The truth.
Eve Thomas has spent the last two days behaving quite disgracefully. She has accused me of several things, none of which are true.
These are the Direct Messages sent between us. I have put them in coversational order (ie she asks questions, I answer) because the chronological messages are a bit confusing. However, if anybody should wish to see the messages in chronological order I will happily provide them with a link.
There is also a twitlonger, which I will get to after the DM bit. Sigh.
So, to begin with, let's get one thing out of the way - Eve sent the first DM. And the second, actually. *I* did not contact *her*.
(I haven't blanked out Eve's email address because she makes it public in her tweetlonger and also her website.)
Also, as I explained to Eve above, I cannot get legal aid. We are not entitled to it. So the non-mol, the divorce, the access dispute, are all either going to be covered by donations or not at all. Having faced my abuser in court twice, without any representation (ie totally alone) I would rather try and scrape to pay for a solicitor with donations from strangers.
Erm, rude much? I have mentioned already that *we* can't afford to pay for a solicitor.
So....I'm not proud, independant or strong. Thanks for that.
BTW, "I'm not x but.." means you are, so you are causing offence and I suspect you know that.
Oh, and evidently I cannot hold my head high, nor do I have dignity or (self?) respect. Got it.
Sorry, I'm confused, have I moved on, or am I holding on to the chains of my past which so heavily weigh me down?
Another request from Eve for me to contact her.
And again with the asking me to contact her.
Got every *what* set up? Are you as confused by this as I am?
I didn't say I was uncomfortable with you getting help, I questioned the validity and safety of your actions.
I didn't say he was stalking me (though I believe he is), I said my past was stalking me. You really need to be more careful to pay attention to what people are saying to you!
Even if I *could* get Legal Aid for the divorce, or the non-mol order (which I can't), I don't see it being paid for protracted and difficult access disputes. So, again, IT ISN'T FREE!
Again, no, that is not what I said. I said he was violent once. One time. He 'only' ever actually physically hurt one child, once. And me, once. And you don't get to decide, Eve. You are not the Judge in the courtroom and from a relatively short DM conversation on twitter you cannot possibly have all the pertinent information.
Oh look, I corrected her there! She got it wrong and I put her straight. See how an honest person does that? Now pay attention to the next one, this is a doozy!
0.o
Moving on..
Oh, so it's okay for you to use gofund for your 'charity', but not for me to try and get justice. Oh, okay.
I really don't think I want your brand of help, thanks.
Either she doesn't realise that was what she was doing (which I doubt) or she just cannot believe I have called her out on it.
Yeah, that thing you just said?
Oh, and you may notice that I haven't actually refused anything. I have only responded and dared to question her actions.
Yeah, still not getting the point there.
And give the emotional manipulation a rest too, you sound like an abuser.
*head in hands, deep sigh*
I vaguely recollect mentioning this before. Did I say this already? You will let me know if I am repeating myself, won't you?
I beg your pardon? Talk about self important, bossy.....This whole thing is about getting away from my ex in every way possible, and I am just supposed to "forget about the divorce"??!!
I don't want your help, Eve. You are belligerent and ignorant.
Way to imply I'm not in danger there. I think what you meant was "be a good little sheep and do things how I want them done cos I know best"
Yes Eve, what you are doing here, bullying a victim of domestic violence, is wrong. I just wish you could see that.
 |
(The blanked name and location above came from my gofundme page. I talk about that in the twitlonger part below.)
Now there is this weird bit, which started in the Twitter timeline, and spilled over into DM's.
I was asked, by a good friend, if I had considered deleting the above conversation. I replied that I wasn't going to consider it before I had screen-capped the lot, as Eve was already twisting things and lying. She then asked me (something along the lines of) "If you have nothing to hide why do you want to delete the messages" (I am paraphrasing, I blocked Eve after this so I can't actually see the original tweet anymore).
My reply..
Eve responded to this by attempting (badly) to subtweet about me.
Jeepers, I only hope you can do no more, you've already done more than enough!!
So, now I block, and think and hope that this very surreal conversation is done, that this is over with, and that I can get on with trying to secure funding for my legal whatnottery.
Nope. Eve isn't quite finished yet! She has this gem, sent out via twitlonger to several of my friends directly:
In that twitlonger you will see that Eve kindly puts the word victim in inverted commas every time she refers to me, this is a clear attemp to discredit me and is damaging and hurtful. Also, it is totally unnecessary.
Eve states several times that I contacted her, went to her asking for help, which you can see above is patently untrue. Yes, I did follow Eve a few weeks ago, and yes we did briefly message. I never asked her for money though, I believe I made a joke about a lottery win. I did unfollow her because I found her habit of retweeting every interaction, and constant spamming with the one voice hashtag, to be annoying. I did not block her then though (why would I need to, unfollowing was fine).
I have never "changed my story", only honestly answered Eve's questions. She has taken them out of conversational flow and context though, to make it look as though I am fabricating my account of abuse, which is both cruel and vindictive.
With reguard to my location being on the gofund page, I was asked to input a location when I was setting the page up, I did so not realising that it would be visible on the page. As soon as it was brought to my attention, I emailed the gofund helpdesk and they kindly removed it for me.
Yes, my paypal account is in a different name. That is the name I had when I set up the account around 7 years ago. I have changed my name since then but not gotten around to changing it on the paypal account. I don't think it is too difficult to imagine why somebody who is trying to escape Domestic
Violence might change their name, or put up a cartoon avatar instead of a photo of themselves. Eve's insinuation that my motives for doing these things are less than honest shows that she has a dangerous lack of understanding, and seems willfully vicious.
Again and again Eve states that I asked for her help, that I asked her to contact the police, and you can see from the direct messages above that this is a blatant lie. Eve likes to present herself as an expert and an advocate for DV survivors but her ill-considered attempt to 'help' by calling the police broke trust and confidentiality AND could very well have put my life in danger (not to mention the lives of my children) and is incredibly bad practise too. As for the claim that she hd access to/was being informed about any information held by police, I seriously doubt any police officer would endanger their career in such a way by violating police policy.
Here is Cath's twitlonger response, just for reference:
Eve Thomas describes herself as a survivor of domestic abuse and claims to support and assist other survivors 'stay safe.' It appears that eve has attempted to 'help' several women on twitter who have experience domestic abuse & a worrying pattern has emerged. She admits that she has contacted the police force local to certain women without their consent or permission & without any concern that she may be putting them at significant risk. Please be aware of the following information: · Eve has been offered specialist DV training three times by local domestic violence organisations & refused it. · She is promoting a bank service for women to log incidents but is not registered with data protection which is illegal. · Eve Thomas Foundation is not registered with the charity commission or anywhere else. · Information shared is not confidential. · Domestic violence organisations and Women's Services are aware and highly concerned about her approach. There are a number of well established organisations that are trained experts in supporting victims/survivors of domestic abuse. Please contact them if you need support. |
Cath is an expert in her field, she knows what she is taking about.
I never panicked about anything, though Eve's questionable behaviour does cause me great concern, and nobody attacked her. My friends, quite understandably, defended me and in due course became very concerned about her conduct themselves. Conduct like revealing the full name of a DV victim which is very, very dangerous. Though I cannot speak for this person I have found her to be kind and passionate about raising awareness of DV. She really doesn't seem to want any kind of witch hunt, in my opinion.
Also, where is Eve's charitable status? If her book is already being bought, where is the proof that the charities she is claiming to donate proceeds to are actually receiving anything?
What a sorry mess.
0 comments:
Post a Comment